Mothersday thoughts

So that's a wrap on my second Mothersday as a mom. We decided to take Ben to the Aquarium for the first time followed by lunch and milkshakes at the Fire and Ice hotel. I've been wanting to take Ben to the aquarium for so long and what better day than Mothersday. When we got to the very first tank with all the brightly coloured fish husband quickly ran off to the bathroom and Ben and I had a few minutes alone. As I stood there with my tiny person in my arms watching his face light up as he excitedly pointed at the pretty blue 'Dory' fish I suddenly got so emotional. For a minute I could not actually believe I am mom on Mothersday. I could not believe how much I love this tiny perfect person. I was just feeling so thankful and so very lucky.

I have a little confession. The night Ben was born and they showed him to me the first thought that popped into my head was "I can't decide if he's pretty or not" I looked at him and it wasn't a face I recognized. There was no immediate overwhelming bonding feeling. I did not experience that 'love at first sight' moment most moms talk about. My head was just so busy processing it all. After all the wait and all the "I wonder what he'll look like? Will he have your nose and my lips" conversations he was suddenly here right in front of me.

Don't get me wrong I liked him. I liked him a lot. When I held him in my arms there was wonderment and I had that butterfly's in tummy feeling. I could not stop looking at him. Was this tiny person really mine. But love? I just didn't know him well enough yet to be using that word. It was like the first bit of a very promising relationship. You know this could be something amazing, you really really like him but its just too soon to be using the word love.

And so we went home. And we got to know each other a bit better. And I became very attached to this little person. I could stare at him for hours. I wanted to be around him all the time. I missed him when he was sleeping. But love... Was this the huge crazy love everyone was talking about.... I just wasn't sure...  And then I started to stress about it. How will I know if we bonded properly. How will I know when I love him. I was just so stressed.

There was never this huge light bulb moment where I was like "Okay wow, I feel it now. Yes its definitely love"" No, it was something that just happened. I just woke up one morning and the doubt was gone.

Now its difficult for me to remember a time I did not love him. I try to think back to those first few days of  struggling to figure out my emotions and doubting my love for him but I cant because it feels like I've been loving him forever. I love him so much that sometimes I'm a little scared my heart won't be able to handle all the love. You will never really truly get the whole 'I'll take a bullet for you' thing until you become a parent. I will take a bullet, a train, a lightning bolt for him. I'll fight a lion without giving it a second though.

Loving someone that much is a little scary but also so flippin fantastic.

To my most amazing mom: Hope you had the best Mothersday. Thanks for loving me this much. Then to my Ben: Thanks for letting me kiss and hug you about a million times a day. Thanks for all the smiles that make every day so damn special. I am ridiculously excited to be your mom.

Hope you all had the best mothersday!

Easter, Family and a quick catch up.

From about mid March I've been eating, sleeping, breathing Easter weekend. I could not wait for the long weekend to arrive. I needed a break, a bit of time to relax, time with the family. It was the in-laws turn to get us for Easter and husbands older brother and his family who live in the UK is visiting so everyone was extra excited. They have a little girl aged 4 and a little boy turning 2 in May. The last time the cousins were all together Ben was only 4 months old.

Things started off a little rocky. Ben was terribly shy at first and David was not keen on sharing toys but after a good nights sleep they woke up the next morning ready to play. There were lots of climbing, racing, pointing and giggling. They were just ridiculously cute together.

I really am enjoying this age. Sure there's tantrums and Ben can go from happy to awfully upset within seconds but there's also a million laughs. He is such a character and has the best sense of humour. He loves to entertain and he smiles all the time. He has amazing ball skills and loves to kick the ball around. He is obsessed with cars or 'Ka' as he calls them and has major bike skills. He takes a corner on 2 wheels just about tipping over often making me jump up thinking he's about to crash, but he never does. He roars like a lion, applauds the loudest when he does something awesome and loves, loves, LOVES chocolate. He would pop the entire Easter eggs into his mouth and it was terribly funny watching him try eat the whole thing at once.

His laugh is infectious and I adore the effect he has on other people. You cant help but be happy when around him.

I cannot believe we are already in Autumn. It was very evident over Easter weekend as we pulled on the wintery PJ's and often needed a jersey in the morning. I am a summer person and get terribly depressed during the long winter months. I hate the darkness, the grey, the pale skin. Luckily we had a nice sunny day over the weekend to enjoy a bit of beach time.

April means its my last month at the current job. I cannot believe I am almost at the end. That first month was so difficult. I'd often drive home from work and thought of just not showing up the next day. I had to learn so much in a very short amount of time. A lot was expected of me and although at the time I thought they were going to break me I actually survived. I feel a lot more confident in myself knowing I climbed this mountain and although I wanted to quit many times I didn't.

I've also been eating much healthier lately (except for easter weekend of course) and have lost 5kg's since I started end of February. My skin looks better, my clothes fit again and I don't feel a 100 years old anymore. I've been able to put a bit of cash into my credit card clearing up some unwanted debt and husband received a very nice bonus so after a few very hard months we are doing so much better. I'm happy. And I say that not with a "but are you really?" as an afterthough like I did a while back  I really am feeling okay with life.

We speak the same language

One of my favourite bloggers and fellow mama Cass did such a cool post over on her blog Miss Cass Lee called "You know your a mom when..." I could totally relate to all of it, especially the scoop poop out of the bath bit. I'll never forget the first time it happened (yes it has happened more than once). I was just so mortified.

I loved her post so much I just had to do my own little list.

You Know your a mom...

When you smell the butt of a tiny person during a conversation or in a public place like its the most normal thing to do.

When the appearance of a tooth gets a Wimbledon win like applause.

When you and the husband quote phrases from the tiny persons favourite movie in adult conversation.

When a runny nose catches you off guard with not a tissue in sight and you end up wiping it with the bottom of your dress.

When you are still listening to the nursery rhyme’s CD 15 minutes after you’ve dropped your kid off at school.

When the bottom of all your sliding doors are covered in tiny Peanut butter hand prints.

When the fact that you are spending your Saturday morning in Toys R Us rather than wine tasting with your friends doesn't bother you one bit.

When your husband asks you where the Marmite/pasta/cereal is and you answer “In the Flings Cupboard”

When you spend 20 minutes talking to total strangers in Woolworths because they have a little boy the same age as yours.

When you become a parent you belong to this huge community of people who all speak the same language. You can be total strangers but you will always have something in common. And that's just fabulous.

Mr Price Giveaway

Just a quick pop in to let you know I have a R250 Mr Price Voucher to give away. Excited? Well you should be, I just shopped the cutest Winter stuff for Ben online at mrp.com

How to enter:

- Like and share on my Elle Kay Facebook page here

OR

- Comment below and let me know if you will be shopping for your little one or treating yourself and what you plan on getting from Mr P Online.

*Only open to SA residence. Winner will be announced next Friday, 27 March 2015*

Moms and Social Media

When I found out I was pregnant most of my friends were either single or getting engaged, and I could count on my one hand the amount of babies I've held in my arms before. I knew nothing. I had no close friends to ask for advice or share the experience with.

Luckily a Twitter friend announced her pregnancy a few weeks after mine and through her I linked up with a few other young first time moms to be till I eventually gathered a nice little possy. Together we shared scans, baby shopping, the amount of chocolate we ate, not being able to sleep and where to buy comfy stretch pants.

One by one we had our babies and shared the excitement as they made their Twitter and Instagram debuts. Together we struggled through breastfeeding, extreme exhaustion and post pregnancy hormones. These girls were my people. They guided me through that first few months of the unknown. Sitting on the rocking chair in the nursery during the freezing hours of winter nights breastfeeding my baby there would always be one of them on Twitter to keep me company. Together we celebrate milestones, together we suffer through teething. They are always there for advice or a quick pep talk.

Most of these girls I have never seen in 'real' life. I only know them from social media. So when the invite for a Mommy Blogger Meetup arrived and I saw some of them would be attending I was beyond excited. Cindy Alfino is the master mind behind the CTmeetups and she does such a great job at organizing them. The meetup was hosted by Graze Restaurant in Kenilworth and it was such a perfect venue with amazing food. Their kids menu is also pretty awesome.

Nikki Lincoln a fellow mom, blogger and digital food editor at Woolworths did a great talk on blogging and the tools all bloggers should be using. And then there was the goodie bags. Such an amazing bonus to what was already a pretty perfect morning.

Stationery sponsored by Gumtree

 

Mr Price fashion went above and beyond by sponsoring each mom with a beautifully wrapped gift as well as a voucher to spend online. I also got a R250 voucher to give away, but more on that later.

 

Ben's MR Price gift. Love that bowtie.

 

It really was so great to have a face to face chat with these awesome girls who have shared so much of this amazing motherhood wild ride with me. I really do appreciate all your support and kind words. Also how did mothers survive before social media.

 

*Thanks also to Wakaberry, Kin Shop, Oh So Heavenly, Ella's kitchen, Reusable Pouches, Tangled Tree, Baby Group, Optiphi, Wellness Warehouse, Almay, Mitchum, Beatiful Earth, Adventure Bootcamp and Galileo Cinema for contributing to the amazing goodie bag. You guys Rock!