Friday, 30 January 2015

Holidays are best!

It's the end of January (already) and 2015 is leaving us with little time to stop and smell the roses. The holidays feel like it was ages ago. That feeling of being well rested, tanned and healthy sure didn't hang around for very long.

So what did we get up to during the holidays...

December is without a doubt my favourite time of year. I love the Christmas holidays. The way everyone has a little spring in their step as they countdown the days to freedom. Christmas music, fairy lights, hot summer days spent at the beach.

To me December holidays is a time to let go and just be. My rule is no hair dryer no make up. Barefoot, no jewellery, not even my wedding ring. This year it took me a little longer to get in that carefree frame of mind as I started a new job a few weeks before the holidays and it weighed heavy on me. I really battled with my new responsibilities and workload. But I soon realised that I was ruining what was suppose to be fun times with my family stressing over something I can do nothing about. So I just let go and ended up having the best time.

We always split December holidays between the families. One year we'll do Christmas with my family and New Year at the inlaws and vice versa.

This year we had Christmas with the in laws on the West - Coast.

I use to love Christmas eve and all the excitement that came with putting on Santa hats and gathering around the tree to open presents. But there came a point where Christmas lost a bit of its magic. I started seeing Christmas the way most grown ups do. But that's the great thing about having kids, they renew your enthusiasm and appreciation for special days. I absolutely loved watching my little guy running around pointing at gifts, the tree, lights and entertaining all the guests with his antics. I loved the look on his face as Santa handed him his gifts and how he'd clap  after opening each and every gift.

Next up was Christmas number 2 and New Year with my parents in Malgas on the Breede River. We had a bit of bad weather at first but New Years day was just gorgeous sunny and hot.
How awesome is this chrissy gift.

We returned home on the 3rd of January and I started work on the 7th.  My motto for the year being 'just take it easy' Work is work.  I will not let myself get so incredibly stressed to the point where I feel like I'm going to pass out. If its not done by the end of the work day it will have to wait till tomorrow. Family first. And so far it has made such a difference. I no longer dread going to work. I no longer feel like I'm drowning. When I get overwhelmed by something I get up go make some coffee and remind myself its just work. So one month into the new year and things are going okay. 

Monday, 5 January 2015

Bye 2014, Hello 2015

'The past couple of weeks I've been reading a lot of  'My year in review' post from some of my favourite bloggers. So many amazing things got listed. This made me think about my own year...

How to describe my year? I survived.

2014 was definitely a roller coaster ride. There were many highs but unfortunately also many lows. I laughed till eye cried and then there were days where I just cried. Ben turning one was definitely a very big high. Moving into a bigger house was a high (but moving from the town we love and have lived in for over 6 years to a new area was a low). Brother getting married a high. Best friend announcing her pregnancy a high. But then turning 32 a low. Getting the phone call telling me I got the job and having to go back to work after 7 months of being with Ben all day every day; a low. Going back to work caused quite a few weeks of feeling hopeless and depressed. Tears for days. I felt incredibly trapped in circumstances I could do nothing about. Its still something I cannot deal with. In November I started a new job and so far its not going great. Its an extremely stressful  position and I am not one to deal well with stress. This job is the main cause for my lack of 2015 enthusiasm. But hopefully this will change ass I settle in.

It has also been an incredibly tough financial year. Its hard not to turn into a mean jealous and bitter person when everyone around you is spending money buying cars, houses, diamond rings and overseas holidays and you are barely making it from paycheque to paycheque. I hate how it has changed me. I've been so negative, resentful, stressed and short tempered.  But I'm also incredibly thankful for what I do have. I know if I had to choose between money and my little boy it would be the easiest decision ever. I'm incredibly lucky to have a supportive family and a husband who is working his ass off to get us out of this situation.

A while back I read a quote by Roseanne Barr "As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job" This pretty much sums up my achievements for the year. NO I didn't excel in a career. I'm no girlboss. But I did my 'job'. I kept my little person happy and healthy. And I did a damn fine job. Now I was recently told that life isn't just about kids. And for some people that might be true. But I'm 100% Mom. I eat, breathe, sleep being a Mom. Its what I live for. It makes me happy.