Bye 2014, Hello 2015

'The past couple of weeks I've been reading a lot of  'My year in review' post from some of my favourite bloggers. So many amazing things got listed. This made me think about my own year...

How to describe my year? I survived.

2014 was definitely a roller coaster ride. There were many highs but unfortunately also many lows. I laughed till eye cried and then there were days where I just cried. Ben turning one was definitely a very big high. Moving into a bigger house was a high (but moving from the town we love and have lived in for over 6 years to a new area was a low). Brother getting married a high. Best friend announcing her pregnancy a high. But then turning 32 a low. Getting the phone call telling me I got the job and having to go back to work after 7 months of being with Ben all day every day; a low. Going back to work caused quite a few weeks of feeling hopeless and depressed. Tears for days. I felt incredibly trapped in circumstances I could do nothing about. Its still something I cannot deal with. In November I started a new job and so far its not going great. Its an extremely stressful  position and I am not one to deal well with stress. This job is the main cause for my lack of 2015 enthusiasm. But hopefully this will change ass I settle in.

It has also been an incredibly tough financial year. Its hard not to turn into a mean jealous and bitter person when everyone around you is spending money buying cars, houses, diamond rings and overseas holidays and you are barely making it from paycheque to paycheque. I hate how it has changed me. I've been so negative, resentful, stressed and short tempered.  But I'm also incredibly thankful for what I do have. I know if I had to choose between money and my little boy it would be the easiest decision ever. I'm incredibly lucky to have a supportive family and a husband who is working his ass off to get us out of this situation.

A while back I read a quote by Roseanne Barr "As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job" This pretty much sums up my achievements for the year. NO I didn't excel in a career. I'm no girlboss. But I did my 'job'. I kept my little person happy and healthy. And I did a damn fine job. Now I was recently told that life isn't just about kids. And for some people that might be true. But I'm 100% Mom. I eat, breathe, sleep being a Mom. Its what I live for. It makes me happy.

Time to say Goodbye



It’s hard to believe I wrote this (The Hardest part) post a mere 5 months ago.  Feels like ages ago. We have come so far and learned so much.

When I wrote the post I was feeling very depressed, extremely emotional and like I was being punished. 5 months later and 3 days to go at my current temp job and I must admit it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  Work was boring but the people I worked with were pretty awesome. Yes there were days where I was so tired and overwhelmed by trying to juggle a full time job and responsibilities at home that it made me crazy hysterical but there were also days where we managed it all and that made me feel quite proud.

I also loved watching my little boy develop into such an awesome little guy partly thanks to the amazing people at his daycare.  As I sit here feeling all emotional about the fact that Thursday will be his last day at school, I cannot even believe I am the same person who cried every morning after dropping him off at school.  I could not have dreamed a better daycare for him.   Such an amazing bunch of people and Ben has gotten so attached to each and every one of them. He also loved the daily interaction with his fellow mostly 2 teethed friends.

So what now? I have joined Recruit my Mom and the ideal situation would be to find a part time job so I can earn the extra money we so need, get the grown up interaction that is sometimes lacking when you are a stay at home mom while still being able to spend lots of time with baby boy. Best of both worlds.  I know ‘best of both worlds’ means everyone is gunning for the few part time jobs available making it difficult to find one but I am choosing to be optimistic.

As we are in the process of moving house, leaving the beautiful but very expensive to rent in Stellenbosch behind for a bigger house in Strand (we are becoming beach people) I am relieved to have some time available to get the new house us-ready.  I am excited to once again be able  to enjoy my baby boys sleepy wake up smile instead of forcing him to wake up so we can get him dressed for daycare. I am also very excited to once again be master of my own time (or at least the time Ben allows me to be master of) but man I’m going to miss that paycheck.

Ben at School