How to describe my year? I survived.
2014 was definitely a roller coaster ride. There were many highs but unfortunately also many lows. I laughed till eye cried and then there were days where I just cried. Ben turning one was definitely a very big high. Moving into a bigger house was a high (but moving from the town we love and have lived in for over 6 years to a new area was a low). Brother getting married a high. Best friend announcing her pregnancy a high. But then turning 32 a low. Getting the phone call telling me I got the job and having to go back to work after 7 months of being with Ben all day every day; a low. Going back to work caused quite a few weeks of feeling hopeless and depressed. Tears for days. I felt incredibly trapped in circumstances I could do nothing about. Its still something I cannot deal with. In November I started a new job and so far its not going great. Its an extremely stressful position and I am not one to deal well with stress. This job is the main cause for my lack of 2015 enthusiasm. But hopefully this will change ass I settle in.
It has also been an incredibly tough financial year. Its hard not to turn into a mean jealous and bitter person when everyone around you is spending money buying cars, houses, diamond rings and overseas holidays and you are barely making it from paycheque to paycheque. I hate how it has changed me. I've been so negative, resentful, stressed and short tempered. But I'm also incredibly thankful for what I do have. I know if I had to choose between money and my little boy it would be the easiest decision ever. I'm incredibly lucky to have a supportive family and a husband who is working his ass off to get us out of this situation.
A while back I read a quote by Roseanne Barr "As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job" This pretty much sums up my achievements for the year. NO I didn't excel in a career. I'm no girlboss. But I did my 'job'. I kept my little person happy and healthy. And I did a damn fine job. Now I was recently told that life isn't just about kids. And for some people that might be true. But I'm 100% Mom. I eat, breathe, sleep being a Mom. Its what I live for. It makes me happy.
Sigh... I hear you about the money issue. We're currently a one income household so it's been quite hard this year. And watching everyone jetting off to lovely places and being able to buy all the things is sometimes depressing. But we'll soldier on. I hope the job gets better for you.
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